I’ve seen this a lot around me and I even participated some times. I’ve learned my lessons and now, as I see it better, it hurts me to see it around me and I must write about it. When we say things about others after our own interpretation and fill in the gaps, plus a lot of maybes, suppose and believes, that’s not facts nor information, it’s gossip. And that contains no value. so the only purpose for that is damaging others but… as always, pointing one finger to other, big finger is showing back to you.
Of course it’s a industry of entertainment based on this, but at work or in family or with friends is not the case…, and nothing good comes out of it.
Why don’t we talk traits and good facts about people? Really, why?
By simply taking part of it, and saying anything else that “OK, I understand your opinion, I know how you feel” means taking part, and taking part means gossiping too… You simply have the power not to participate by not saying anything, not taking any side, and not confirming anything about people not present. It’s OK to understand the person in front of you and her frustration because for sure it’s real, it’s what he/she lives and feels, but that might not be the facts. And if it continues, it’s even better not to be there, not to listen, and even say it’s not OK for you to take part of this discussions and they should clear between themselves.
By throwing rocks, you damage somebody reputation or others people perception about them, and they do not stand a chance. They might not have a second chance to be judged.
My suggestion to you:
- chose not to gossip
- choose not to participate
- notice when it happens and extract yourself from it by being nonjudgmental
- you affect you reputation also, so don’t do it
- go away from the show in progress
- tell them to confront, as being the adult way
- don’t believe what you hear
- don’t hurt people, be good
- accept you don’t know the whole picture
- believe people are good, and for sure it’s a misunderstanding as it almost always is
Gossips makes people suffer, feel bad, and that is a memory a lot of time he hold on for life, it’s heavier than a simple fall or other problems.
And consider, if you would listen to you gossiping, would you trust you?