{"id":423,"date":"2018-11-09T22:36:42","date_gmt":"2018-11-09T22:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alin-constantin.com\/?p=423"},"modified":"2019-02-03T09:15:29","modified_gmt":"2019-02-03T09:15:29","slug":"10-sfaturi-comunicare-relatie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alin-constantin.com\/ro\/10-sfaturi-comunicare-relatie\/","title":{"rendered":"10 sfaturi pentru comunicare de 10 in rela\u021bie"},"content":{"rendered":"

O rela\u021bie contractual\u0103<\/em> <\/em><\/h1>\n

Fericirea \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie nu se bazeaz\u0103 exclusiv pe alegerea unui partener potrivit, \u00eens\u0103, maturitatea este un atribut care are destul de mult\u0103 importan\u021b\u0103 \u00een acest caz- fapt dovedit din propria-mi experien\u021b\u0103. Formarea unui cuplu, familie, se realizeaz\u0103 \u201edin nimic\u201d av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere c\u0103 cele dou\u0103 persoane au fost str\u0103ini unul de cel\u0103lalt, cel pu\u021bin ini\u021bial. Nimic nu \u201ea fost dat\u201d, totul a fost creat \u00een acest duo. Fiecare dintre p\u0103r\u021bi are responsabilitatea de a face rela\u021bia mai important\u0103 pe zi ce trece. Nu merit\u0103m totul dac\u0103 consider\u0103m c\u0103 propria persoan\u0103 este \u201ecea mai important\u0103\u201d… Este adev\u0103rat c\u0103 merit\u0103m cu to\u021bii s\u0103 fim ferici\u021bi \u0219i cu to\u021bii suntem minuna\u021bi, dar s\u0103 nu uit\u0103m:  \u201ecuplu\u201d nu este doar despre un individ, ci despre doi<\/strong>. Cu toate acestea, rela\u021bia nu devine perfect\u0103 dac\u0103 se implic\u0103 oameni minuna\u021bi. O rela\u021bie \u201econtractual\u0103\u201d implic\u0103 a\u0219tept\u0103ri, nevoi \u0219i reciprocitate. <\/em><\/p>\n

Po\u021bi fi unul\/una dintre cei care \u201enu are nevoie de c\u0103r\u021bi pentru a afla lucruri\u201d despre via\u021b\u0103 \u00een general, lucru cu care nu sunt de acord. \u00cenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m \u00eentr-adev\u0103r din propriile experien\u021be de-a lungul timpului, dar asta se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, de cele mai multe ori, gre\u0219ind uneori fa\u021b\u0103 de persoanele care ne iubesc.<\/em><\/p>\n

Comunic\u0103 mai bine<\/em><\/h2>\n

\u00centr-o rela\u021bie este important s\u0103 fii capabil s\u0103 … g\u00e2nde\u0219ti \u00eenainte de vorbi. <\/em><\/p>\n

Altfel orice cuplu se blocheaz\u0103 \u00een momentul \u00een care nu se comunic\u0103 \u0219i, de obicei, asta se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 c\u00e2nd nu mai exist\u0103 respect. Respect \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 putem aprecia p\u0103rerea \u0219i pozi\u021bia celuilalt, indiferent dac\u0103 e\u0219ti sau nu de acord. Ascult\u00e2nd ar\u0103tam c\u0103 pentru noi persoana din fata noastr\u0103 are valoare. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00cenva\u021b\u0103 sa fii mai bun <\/em><\/h2>\n

Caut\u0103 s\u0103 fii \u00een contact cu partenerul\/partenera t\u0103u\/ta precum \u00eentr-un dans. Cu toate acestea, se poate \u00eent\u00e2mpla ca ambii s\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i joace perfect rolul \u0219i, din afar\u0103, totul  s\u0103 par\u0103 perfect, de\u0219i nu mai sunt de mult pe muzic\u0103. Investim timp \u00eentr-o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de lucruri, pasiuni sau prieteni. De ce nu am face la fel \u0219i cu partenerul de via\u021b\u0103? P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 este persoana care are o important\u0103 influen\u021b\u0103 asupra noastr\u0103, asupra a ceea ce numim o \u201evia\u021b\u0103 fericit\u0103\u201d… A\u0219a cum la munc\u0103 citim articole \u0219i facem cursuri, a\u0219a putem face \u0219i \u00een cuplu- s\u0103 ne p\u0103str\u0103m deschi\u0219i la a \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba s\u0103 fim oameni mai buni<\/strong>. Pentru asta avem la dispozi\u021bie psihologi, diferite lucr\u0103ri, cursuri  etc. \u0218i experien\u021ba conteaz\u0103… bine\u00een\u021beles…-un bun exemplu ar fi episodul 4, seria 4 din Black Mirror-Hang The DJ. <\/em><\/p>\n

Aminte\u0219te-\u021bi mereu s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2i curios<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Dezvoltarea implic\u0103 noutate, curiozitate- prin urmare \u0219i riscuri. \u201e\u00cen situa\u021bii dificile sau provocatoare am\u00e2ndoi pute\u021bi \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba din ceea ce face acele situa\u021bii dificile pentru voi<\/strong>.\u201d spune Janet Zinn, terapeut \u00een New York . \u201c\u0218i ve\u021bi creste prin proces. \u00cen acest fel am\u00e2ndoi ve\u021bi ob\u021bine satisfac\u021bia \u0219i m\u00e2ndria de a fi g\u0103sit moduri de a trece peste obstacol…. Nu uita c\u0103 partenerul se va schimba \u00een timp \u0219i singurul mod de a r\u0103m\u00e2ne \u00een contact este prin curiozitate. Prin deschiderea \u0219i acceptarea modului \u00een care el sau ea se schimba. \u00ce\u021bi va oferi posibilitatea s\u0103 analizezi \u0219i modul \u00een care tu te-ai schimbat.\u201d<\/em> Esther Perel zicea c\u0103,  \u00eentreb\u00e2nd un cuplu care este secretul lor, a primit urm\u0103torul r\u0103spuns: \u201eAm \u00eencercat tot ce se putea \u0219i dac\u0103 ne pl\u0103cea o f\u0103ceam din nou”.<\/em><\/p>\n

Oric\u00e2nd po\u021bi \u00eentreba partenera(ul), \u201ecu ce te pot ajuta?\u201d, \u201ece as putea face pentru tine, pentru o seara frumoasa?\u201d, \u201ece ai apreciat din ceea ce am f\u0103cut eu aceast\u0103 s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103?\u201d, \u201ecare a fost cel mai intens moment pentru tine s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na asta? Ce te-a provocat?\u201d. Oamenii se schimb\u0103 \u0219i pentru a avea o rela\u021bie cu ei ai nevoie s\u0103 \u00eei cuno\u0219ti. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201eCuriozitatea e ceea ce ne atrage de multe ori \u00een rela\u021bie \u0219i lipsa ei ne desparte.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ascult\u0103 activ<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n

Este o diferen\u021b\u0103 mare \u00eentre a asculta (implic\u0103 \u00een\u021belegerea mesajului transmis, \u00eenseamn\u0103 ton, cuvinte, respira\u021bie, credin\u021be) \u0219i a auzi. <\/em><\/p>\n

Atunci c\u00e2nd dai un r\u0103spuns rapid poate \u00eensemna c\u0103 ai a\u0219teptat doar s\u0103 vorbe\u0219ti. \u00cens\u0103, uneori, ne gr\u0103bim s\u0103 vorbim despre noi, despre ceea ce credem \u0219i vrem. Ai putea lua pauz\u0103 c\u00e2teva secunde \u00eenainte de a r\u0103spunde. <\/em><\/p>\n

Un alt lucru care nu l-am \u00een\u021beles, mai ales ca b\u0103rbat, este c\u0103 o femeie, de multe ori, dore\u0219te s\u0103 fie doar ascultat\u0103 \u0219i \u00een\u021beleas\u0103, nu  vrea neap\u0103rat s\u0103 g\u0103sesasc\u0103 o rezolvare pentru problemele  ei sau pentru provoc\u0103rile pe care le-a \u00eent\u00e2lnit. <\/strong>S\u0103 fii acolo doar s\u0103 ascul\u021bi…<\/em><\/p>\n

Consider c\u0103 ajut\u0103 mult s\u0103 accep\u021bi comunicarea celuilalt, chiar dac\u0103 nu e\u0219ti de acord cu mesajul sau pozi\u021bia-opinia sa. Acceptarea face comunicarea s\u0103 continue<\/strong>. \u0218i da, ai putea s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 simi\u021bi sau s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 vezi lucrurile \u201edin pantofii\u201d persoanei din fa\u021ba ta. <\/em><\/p>\n

Scrie ce sim\u021bi \u0219i ceea ce ai zice<\/em><\/h2>\n

\u00cen multe momente cuvintele noastre pot fi nepotrivite, \u00eenc\u0103rcate de critic\u0103, judecat\u0103, r\u0103nind persoana din fa\u021ba ta. Comunicarea a ceea ce sim\u021bim este bun\u0103, dar f\u0103r\u0103 jocuri de genul \u201epolca protestului\u201d sau \u201ecaut\u0103 vinovatul\u201d cum zice psihologul Sue Johnson. A\u0219adar, este bine ca \u00een momentele \u00een care discu\u021bia nu ar mai putea continua frumos s\u0103 scriem ce sim\u021bim, ce ne-a declan\u0219at reac\u021bia \u0219i ce am dori pentru ca, mai t\u00e2rziu, cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 poat\u0103 \u00een\u021belege \u0219i s\u0103 r\u0103spund\u0103 la \u201escrisoarea\u201d noastr\u0103. <\/em><\/p>\n

Critica nu schimba niciodat\u0103 persoane \u0219i nici \u00eencurajarea ori ru\u0219inea, ci doar o blocheaz\u0103. Un om se schimb\u0103 c\u00e2nd e \u00een\u021beles \u0219i c\u00e2nd i se ofer\u0103 loc s\u0103 fac\u0103 asta.<\/strong>  Critica direct\u0103 e de evitat.<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n

Practic\u0103 Optimismul<\/em><\/h2>\n

\u00cen foarte multe lucr\u0103ri reg\u0103sim aceast\u0103 sugestie pentru a ne face via\u021ba mai bun\u0103… mai fericit\u0103. <\/em><\/p>\n

Optimismul este precum prezen\u021ba soarelui: face totul mai frumos \u0219i, de multe ori, \u201eface lucrurile s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple\u201d. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Optimismul este similar credin\u021bei- lucrurile pot fi mai bune dac\u0103 credem asta. Pentru a ilustra metaforic aceast\u0103 idee povestea celor doi lupi care se lupt\u0103 este edificatoare: unul reprezint\u0103 r\u0103ul, cel\u0103lalt binele \u0219i, de\u0219i au puteri egale, va c\u00e2\u0219tiga cel pe care \u00eel hr\u0103ne\u0219ti. Pentru cei mai pragmatici: dac\u0103 depui bani la banc\u0103 (emo\u021bii pozitive) vei avea credit (rela\u021bia se men\u021bine benefic\u0103) \u00een momentele mai grele (retrageri fizice sau emo\u021bionale).<\/em><\/p>\n

Puterea Pauzei<\/em><\/h2>\n

O pauz\u0103 este s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 dac\u0103 opre\u0219te lucrurile \u00eenainte de a se agrava. <\/em><\/p>\n

S\u0103 nu uit\u0103m c\u0103 g\u00e2ndirea \u0219i, implicit, comportamentul \u00een cazul unui conflict \u201evor trece automat\u201d \u00een modul \u201elupt\u0103 sau fugi\u201d, moment \u00een care nu mai suntem capabili s\u0103 lu\u0103m decizii complexe bazate pe contextul real. <\/em><\/p>\n

Face\u021bi contact de gradul…<\/em><\/h2>\n

Ceea ce face diferen\u021biaz\u0103 rela\u021bia de cuplu fa\u021b\u0103 de alte rela\u021bii (de obicei) este contactul fizic, \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u0103rile sau chiar mai mult. Prin atingeri \u201eprimim\u201d apreciere, confort, siguran\u021b\u0103, dragoste \u00een func\u021bie de asocierile pe care le facem cu aceste acte. Fiecare dintre noi are propriul limbaj al iubirii.<\/em> <\/em><\/p>\n

A folosi \u201eEu\u201d nu e egoist, ci real<\/em><\/h2>\n

Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 folosesc \u201eEu\u201d \u00een loc de \u201eTu\u201d din momentul \u00een care am con\u0219tientizat c\u0103 nu eram capabil s\u0103 vorbesc despre cel\u0103lalt, ci doar despre mine. Nu cunoa\u0219tem niciodat\u0103 suficient de bine povestea celuilalt, tr\u0103irile conexe. Nu pot sim\u021bi cu adev\u0103rat dec\u00e2t propiile-mi tr\u0103iri, nu pot cuno\u0219te dec\u00e2t g\u00e2ndurile mele \u0219i ceea ce doresc.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00cen caz de conflict \u201eformuleaz\u0103\u201d ce te deranjeaz\u0103 la partener(\u0103) astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 comunici ce te-a sup\u0103rat pe tine. C\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi asumi postura de \u201eacuzator\u201d \u00eempiedici comunicarea, creezi frustr\u0103ri. Tot ceea ce \u00eencepe cu \u201etu\u201d= critic\u0103.  Astfel vei provoca o rea\u021bie de ap\u0103rare ce aduce cu sine alte probleme, nu rezolv\u0103ri.<\/em><\/p>\n

De exemplu: ai putea spune \u201ePot s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg c\u0103 eu am contribuit… c\u0103 exprimarea mea…. c\u0103 abordarea mea…\u201d- utiliz\u00e2nd aceast\u0103 exprimare transmitem c\u0103 accept\u0103m faptul c\u0103 avem o responsabilitate vis-a-vis de cele \u00eent\u00e2mplate.<\/em><\/p>\n

PS pentru cei c\u0103s\u0103tori\u021bi:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Exist\u0103 credin\u021ba c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd ai copii vor ie\u0219i la iveal\u0103 toate lucrurile ce merg r\u0103u \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie. \u00cens\u0103, unele c\u0103snicii devin mai puternice dac\u0103 fiecare partener nu pune \u201epe pauz\u0103\u201d rela\u021bia pe parcursul cre\u0219terii copiilor, asum\u00e2ndu-\u0219i rolul \u00een acest duo.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/em><\/p>

<\/h2>

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

O rela\u021bie contractual\u0103  Fericirea \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie nu se bazeaz\u0103 exclusiv pe alegerea unui partener potrivit, \u00eens\u0103, maturitatea este un atribut care are destul de mult\u0103 importan\u021b\u0103 \u00een acest caz- fapt dovedit din propria-mi experien\u021b\u0103. Formarea unui cuplu, familie, se realizeaz\u0103 \u201edin nimic\u201d av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere c\u0103 cele dou\u0103 persoane au fost str\u0103ini unul de cel\u0103lalt, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_ppp_document_settings_meta":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[32,93],"tags":[85,96,98,84,95,94,97,100],"class_list":["post-423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love","category-relatii","tag-casnicie","tag-cearta","tag-cearta-relatie","tag-comunicare","tag-cuplu","tag-relatii","tag-relatii-fericite","tag-sex"],"acf":{"buton_adauga_in_cos":"","buton_rezerva_gratuit":""},"yoast_head":"\n10 sfaturi pentru comunicare de 10 in rela\u021bie - Coach - Alin Constantin<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Life Coach. Comunincation Coach. Lidership Coach. Executive coach. 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