THE ILLUSION OF POSSIBILITIES – POTENTIAL

There will always be someone more attractive, more interesting, but not compared to a real partner.

I will address more men but we can have, in the mirror the same discussion about women – femininity. There is no one gender better than another, either female or male, we all have our struggles, and it’s ok.

As a man the problem is that you do not give up childhood (in the sense of potential always possible) for the responsibility that is necessary to be a man. (search for validation and alpha construction). Women have a much more developed responsibility.

Or maybe you’ve never been aware of the power or potential you have, and a woman needs that power. (You don’t even know what alpha means). In which case the role is of a good guy, which is theoretically desired, theoretically.

The question is how do you accept this, to stop searching without resigning? For me, this was not the fear, it was to continue to evolve in the relationship, to have a working partner. Resignation for me was, is, when you stop making an effort, and issuing expectations and working on your relation.

BE AN ALPHA, BY CHARACTER

A woman does not need a submissive, “soft” man, she is not genetically programmed for less than an alpha. But it needs an alpha potential, responsible. And this is the difficult balance to achieve without personal development, without self-knowledge, without commitment and without the conscious sacrifice of the potential for the present, for her, for you as a man.

A woman cannot radiate happiness, (in a relationship I mean, sometimes she does better outside) or be a full woman, she cannot leave femininity free as long as she does not have the rest of the man next to her. As long as you are not “enough” a man, she will not be the woman you are looking for. Because you don’t create the context.

Once you assume this role of man, the woman next to you will appreciate you and will be free to be her, feminine, because she will have the security of her containment, by you, and will be able to rely on your power and responsibility. And you will receive back from her more energy, responsibility and power. Otherwise he will compete with you for responsibility and destroy you along the way, you will get out of the relationship less manly, of course unless you have already become emotionally disconnected from previous failures, as a form of “adaptation” to responsibility and reality that you do not you understand her.

ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE / ARE NOT

Also, as a woman, you have probably become so used to activating masculinity, responsibility, competitiveness that what you attract is feminine energy in the men you meet. Then you wonder why the relationship didn’t work out.

From this game as a man you learned to increase the ego, sexual satisfaction, “trickery”, disconnection to yourself, the material part and translate them as “manhood”. And that always keeps you connected to the obvious potential there, you see Tinder, so many options that, why stop? It can always be the next and more… It is the Peter Pan complex, always potential, never reality and responsibility. Where will you be in 10 years?

The opportunity arises where responsibility is not assumed. Jordan Peterson

As a woman, you will be easily fooled by such a man because he smells of alpha, but in fact he is emotionally disconnected or avoidant, so that apparently you would think he is power and masculinity. And that’s how you get to the wrong partners.

The woman wants assumption, responsibility, power, presence, direction, focus, a man who has or puts his life in order.

The man needs his partner’s feminine energy, someone to wake him up more. He also needs her to invite him to take on the role of man. There are also cases where her anger is directed at him and will rebel him instead of taking responsibility. Don’t “hit” him because you will be left with a more submissive man that you will love less. It’s not your job to change anyone, you can only invite people to a certain role in your life, the choice and tempo is theirs. The invitation is done with patience, acceptance, trust offered in advance with courage and confidence that he/she will fill the role.

Every person takes the place you invite him/her to take in your life. Alin

So it’s great potential out there in the world, but it’s an illusion that you don’t break without assumption and responsibility.

I am waiting for your opinions on the topic.